Building Sandcastles

I sat on the beach in Galveston watching a family nearby. Three children were building an elaborate sandcastle. What caught my eye was a little girl – 2 ½ or 3 years old – coming up from the water’s edge carrying a plastic bucket full of water. I watched as she shifted the bucket around in her arms struggling to keep any of the water from sloshing out. She reached the sandcastle with her bucket still nearly full, and much to the dismay of the older siblings, she upended it, pouring the water on top of their construction. A little tussle for the bucket ensued, but only for a moment before all was forgiven and they began making repairs on the castle. Apparently, their love for the little sister won out. They realized that despite not knowing their intended design for the castle, she thought she was helping. If only she had asked … But they didn’t give up, they finished the project.

How often I am like that little child, struggling with my bucket, intent on helping out without consulting the Master Architect to find out His plan or design! As I spill out my meager (and sometimes damaging) “contribution,” He graciously continues working to fulfill His purposes. He knows my heart and He loves me.

Thank you, Father, for forgiving me when I don’t ask You for direction, when I try in my own strength to carry my bucket and do things my way. And thank You that even when I make a mess of things, Your plan is never thwarted.

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me. Lord, your faithful love endures forever; do not abandon the work of your hands (Psalm 138:8 CSB).

Blessings,
Ruth

Good News!

I heard on a recent radio broadcast that the #1 cause of death among US teens ages 15-19 is suicide – greater than deaths by accident, illness, injury, etc.

That is astonishing and deeply troubling. The world is in desperate need. Hopelessness, discouragement, and depression are driving young people to the very edge where they think their only option is to opt out of life altogether. The voices calling out to them have nothing to offer except more of the same… distress, turmoil, anxiety, fear.  Something must be done to restore joy, purpose, fulfillment, and hope to them.

Rather than focusing on all that is wrong – hatred, division, hostility, fear, failure – let’s redirect their focus toward all that is right and beautiful.

To the one who is despondent: There is a God who cares and cares deeply. 1 Peter 5:7

To the one who feels unloved: There is One who loved you so much He sacrificed His very life to save yours. John 3:16, Romans 5:8

To the one who feels anxious: There is One who speaks to anxiety. Matthew 6:25-34

To the one who sees ugliness: There is beauty in creation – flowers, trees, birds, animals, stars, sunrises and sunsets, ocean waves. Go out into nature. Listen and look up. Psalm 19:1, Psalm 104:10-25

To the one who is lonely: There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

To the one who feels abandoned: There is One who promises never to leave you. Hebrews 13:5

To the one who feels unheard: There is One who says, “Call to me and I will answer you.” Jeremiah 33:3

To the one who feels unnoticed: There is One who sees you wherever you are. 2 Chronicles 16:9

To the one who feels unknown: There is One who knows you better than you know yourself! Psalm 139:1-4

To the one who is in the pit of despair: There is One who wants to lift you out of the pit. Psalm 40:1-2

To the one who feels like giving up: You can be a victorious conqueror. Romans 8:37

While not ignoring what is wrong with the world today, let’s keep our focus on the promises of God. We have good news to share. And everyone needs to hear good news! Let’s share it.

Blessings,

Ruth

Celebrating Father’s Day

It’s been 33 years since I lost my own father and 42 years since my father-in-law passed away. When you have no father to honor and celebrate, Father’s Day feels a little different. I can reflect on what they each meant to me in the time they were physically present – lessons learned, love felt, examples lived out. And I am thankful.

But today it also means being especially thankful for Pete, my children’s father and my partner of almost 49 years. I am thankful for the way he faithfully and lovingly cared and provided for our children physically and spiritually over the years. And I am still in love with him.

It means being thankful for Peter, Tim, and Markus, the wonderful fathers of our seven grandchildren. I am thankful for the many ways they provide and care for their precious families. I am thankful for their examples and their strong work ethic and character. And I am so proud of them.

But Father’s Day is also a day to reflect on the awesome thought that we get to call God ‘our Father.’ He is the perfect father who promises never to leave, fail, or forsake us. He is the father who provides, protects, loves, and cares for us. He hears and sees and knows us in ways even the most amazing earthly fathers cannot. He is deserving of our worship and honor every day.

This Father’s Day as we remember and honor our earthly fathers (those present as well as those who are absent) let’s remember to run to our Heavenly Father in praise and adoration. His arms are open wide.

Happy Father’s Day!

Ruth

The Merry Merry Month of May

May brings warm weather and warm memories. The ground warms up and soil is prepared for seeds and plants. Flowers bloom, grass is green, and the trees wear a full coat of leaves.

It is a month of BEGINNINGS.

We welcomed our first grandchild into the world in the month of May. She has had 20 years of birthday celebrations now. (Seems unbelievable!)

I love this 4 generation photo – my mom, our son, his daughter, and me.

It is the month of ENDINGS and TRANSITIONS.

Where we live, May signals the end of the school year. Life becomes very busy with the year-end activities, promotions, and graduations. There are bittersweet moments as seniors graduate from High Schools and Colleges to transition to their next endeavors.

It is a month of CELEBRATIONS.

My mom’s birthday was celebrated yearly on May 10, and it was in May 2012 that we had her celebration of life funeral service just one week shy of her 91^st birthday. We siblings pulled “The Haken Trio” back together for the one and only time in decades so we could sing at Mom’s funeral.

May is the month where honor and appreciation are shown in special ways to the women who brought us into the world, as we remember our mothers each Mothers’ Day.

But what if our mothers are gone and the grief is fresh? Or what if one is estranged from her mother? What if you long to be a mother but that has not happened for you? What if even the thought of Mothers’ Day makes you sad and you can find no reason to celebrate?

Maybe it would help to consider and remember older women who have influenced you in positive ways during your lifetime, perhaps in one or more of the following ways:

• ‘Taking you under her wing’ when you needed someone.

• Encouraging you to hone the talents and skill that you are now proficient in, by giving you opportunities to exercise those talents and abilities.

• Giving you spiritual encouragement that led you to faith in Christ and helped you grow.

• Teaching you practical things that have now become second nature to you.

• Walking with you through a crisis, or two, or three, or …

• Remembering you on days that are of special importance to you.

• Praying with you and for you.

Older women in my life have ministered to me in all the above-mentioned ways, and I am thankful for each one. Many are gone now, but memories of them warm my heart,

This Mothers’ Day, let’s honor with thankful hearts:

• The mother who gave us life and brought us into the world, whether she raised us or not. No matter the circumstances, we are alive despite her having other options.

• The older women who stepped into the mother role in our lives when perhaps our birth mothers could not.

And let’s thank God for the strength He gives us to carry on. (Philippians 4:13)

Happy Mothers’ Day!

This one’s for you, Mom. Pete and I loved having you living here with us.

Blessings,

Ruth

LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED … OR IS IT?

The 1967 single “All you need is love,” was written by John Lennon and made famous by the Beatles. It contained the lyrics, “All you need is love, all you need is love, all you need is love, love – love is all you need.”

But that’s not really true, is it? Some believe that love means ‘I get what I want,’ or ‘you please me in some way,’ or ‘you make me happy.’ But this is a definition based on selfish desires.

We DO need love, true love, which has been well defined in the most reliable of texts. But we also need sustenance, shelter, sleep and rest, relationships, purpose, and hope (not wishful thinking, but confident certainty).

A beautiful definition of the word ‘love,’ written and passed down through the generations reads:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

True love is other-focused.

What we really need is God! HE meets our need for:

Love: He IS Love, and He demonstrated His love – 1 John 4:8-10, 16; Exodus 34:6; Romans 8:38-39; John 3:16

Sustenance: He Is the Bread of Life and the Source of living water – John 6:35; Matthew 6:25-34; John 4:10-13.

Shelter: He is our Shelter and our Refuge – Psalm 91:1-2; Revelation 7:14-16; Psalm 62:8; Psalm 16:1; Psalm 46:1; Nahum 1:7; Ruth 2:12, 2 Samuel 22:3, 31.

Sleep and Rest:  He gives sleep and rest – Psalm 127:2; Matthew 11:28-29; Psalm 3:5, Psalm 4:8

Relationship: He adopts us as members of His family – 1 John 3:1; John 1:12; Romans 8:17; Ephesians 1:1-7; John 15:4-5

Purpose:  He prepared work for us to do – Ephesians 2:10; 1 Corinthians 15:58; 2 Corinthians 8:11; Ephesians 4:11-12; Mathew 5:16; 1 Chronicles 16:9; 1 Peter 2:9; Psalm 78:4 – and He enables us to do it! Philippians 4:13

Hope: He is the God of hope and the Source of hope – Romans 15:13; Psalm 71:5; lamentations 3:20-21; 2 Thessalonians 2:16; 1 Timothy 1:1-2

So… Love? Yes love. But not as the world speaks of love, rather the love demonstrated by God whose very character is love, and who, because of His love, provides everything we need if we will love, accept, and obey Him. When we come to Him on His terms, we find soul satisfaction, meaning, and purpose for our lives.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Ruth

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

LOVE

My husband and I were privileged to care for both of our mothers as they completed life’s journeys. Although at separate times, and in different circumstances, there were similarities. One of our mothers had dementia, and one had problems of a different kind. Each situation brought joys and sorrows, frustrations and fears, questions and doubts. And, given the chance, we would do it all over again.

In each case we wanted to live out the Scriptural principle: “Honor thy father and thy mother,” but sometimes it was hard to know what was most honoring. We wanted to show our love for them in demonstrable and practical ways, but again, what was most loving? Love given is not always love received.

Perhaps as you have tried to love others, you have encountered resistance which has surprised you because you, to the best of your ability, were acting in love. If we want to follow the example of the greatest teacher who ever walked on the face of the earth, we will love – even when it is hard – even when it is not well received or reciprocated – even when is it inconvenient.

Jesus said it this way: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” John 13:34-35 (NIV).  And He loved … all the way to the cross … laying down His life. So, when love makes demands on our time, our schedule, our plans, our desires … if we are misunderstood, rebuffed, or criticized, we must love. Because ultimately, we do it for Him, the One who knows us best and loves us most.

Love,

Ruth

If you are interested in reading about my caregiving experience as my mother completed her journey, my book, Bringing Mother Home, is available now on Amazon. You can find a link to it on my book page.